Living Purpose “LP” Entries ~The Weekend When God Revealed

Inspiration: Love relationship with God…

As I sit at the office and listen to music, I am reminded of the past weekend. I think my emotions were all over the place. From fear, to anger, to disappointment, but amazingly it all worked out for my good.

Friday evening: I get a call that my sister is in the hospital due to chest pains. Initially fear set in because I immediately thought of the extreme. I have been down this path at least 3 times this year, not again. But God spoke and said, “She will be okay. Just believe.” And sure enough, she’s okay. Just did a bit much and needs to take it easy.

I love my family, really I do… and maybe sometimes we call ourselves trying to protect one another, but sometimes we do hinder one another unintentionally. I was reluctant to inform my mother of what was going on, because I wasn’t sure of all the details and hey who wants to tell their mom news like that? I think my mother was offended and that wasn’t the intention at all. Initially when I spoke with my other sister about this, I became furious. Furious, because it was looked as if, we (my other sister and I) wanted to hide something from my mother. Furious, because it reminded me of teenage years when I would hear the extreme end of the spectrums from my mother and my father. It was either a drunken lecture or “bills, bills, bills.” I think over the weekend I realized that I still had some anger to both of them, as well as myself from that period of my life. I didn’t make the effort to speak up and out about things while growing up, and sometimes, it was as if mom and dad were wrapped in everything else. Seemed like as long as I made good grades, then everything was ok. I am happy that is over with now and we all have moved forward; however, with the Living Purpose course as well as service on yesterday, I have to ask myself, “Have I really moved on from the past offenses?”

Saturday: A bit quieter. My sister was doing a lot better. And while that was good, I was still upset with my mother. Thoughts that ran through my mind, “Why she gotta be so one-minded? Is it really that serious?” And thought of her talking about all the negative stuff that she can think of; it was just all too much for me. And then the Lord spoke to me… “Vincent, you must understand that it’s not your mother, but rather a spirit. A spirit that, if not careful, can consume you. It is a spirit that you and your sisters will break. And through the three of you, she will break that spirit as well. A spirit that comes from her mother, her mother’s mother, and so forth.” And of course me: “Well God how? How do I do it without the spirit from my dad’s family coming up?” GOD: “As I told you before; back in August 2005, “Trust me… Will you?” And so, there you have it… I must trust God… I’m not quite sure how, but with God, it will work out.

Of course there is also another thing that God has pinged me about for a while… Mr. Osborn.

At one time considered a friend; even at one time a godbrother, but now only my brother in Christ. This weekend was one for the record books. He finally got the opportunity to see his dream come true. And I must be honest when I say, that I’m happy for him. Granted our friendship has ended, it’s good to know that he has moved on to greater and better and that God is doing a great work in his life. Periodically I do talk with my godbrother, Charles, about last year and how events unfolded. But I’m glad that with everything, Charles was able to let go and move forward. I hear God saying the same to me, “Vincent, I know you were hurt by how things went down last year. Even how things went down on your day this year. But think of all the opportunities coming your way. Some that you aren’t even aware of. My child, if you are to truly experience who I am in your life, then you must start to let go of the past. Let go of the anger as child, the fears, the bad choices, the offenses… and know that it is all part of the process that I am taking you through, for greatness… My child, you are more than prepared, I know you can…”

And so with that…

Father God: I thank You for this day. I thank You for this past weekend. The tough love lessons that You are teaching me. I am thankful that I have an ear to hear and eyes to see, more so a heart that is open unto You. Lord, I ask forgiveness from You, my mother, my father, Mr. Osborn, and myself. By holding onto past offenses, I may have indirectly held them back, more so holding myself back from You. It does not change the past, but I can not participate in Your Work and hold grudges. Lord, if I am to be apart of Your Vine as a branch, then I must surrender who I am completely over to You. Lord, I humbly lay before You now, asking that You create in me a new heart. Shape and mold me into who You desire. Invite me into the work You plan, so that I may truly experience You. Lord, I ask that You bless each everyone that reads this. Lord, You know our hearts. May we as Your People, be open to hear from You so that we can be transformed, our minds be renewed, and our hearts be pure.

In Jesus Christ,

Amen…

P.S. John 14:21 – Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves Me. He who loves me will be loved by M Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.